I think that what is elegant to a technical communicator in many ways is not that different from what is elegant to most readers. It is just a matter of seeing the information in a different context, the world of technology. I may be slightly biased, as a technical communicator, precise, easy to read and writing is elegant.
My current profession does not really subscribe to any definition or use of the term elegant. For the most part, the documentation I use in my daily job is, for lack of a better term “dry". Most documents are specifications are requirements that provide details on an interface or system enhancement. But if I really think about it, yes, these types of documents can be elegant. Elegant in the fact they provide me with the information I need, when I need it. In most cases there is not a great deal of additional material, mainly the specifications and information needed to test system functionality. There really is no need for any other information in most cases, it may even distract from the vital information being presented.
In the eyes of a technical professional, the material and information may be presented in a way that is clear, concise and readable. In the IT world, these would make for an elegant document as often the documentation received is lacking in many areas. I think this in a way ties into our class discussion on elegance. Some may think a popular romance novel is elegant writing. It may be or it may not be elegant. The determination is in eyes of the reader.
In my current profession, while the documentation is technical and perhaps “dry” to many people, there is certain elegance to the writing. I do not think this is by design as, the technical communicator in my field is task with mainly documenting and presenting information, with little thought toward style. But for those in a technical field, I think they can appreciate the elements of style and elegance that appear in presenting information on subjects that may not be that exciting to the general public.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Week 5 Post
What are the most valuable types or strategies to commenty you've seen? What worked or didn't work on the comments offered by Dr. Rice?
The most valuable type or strategy to comment or provide feedback is both positive and negative. I look at any comments as good as far as providing me feedback on my work. Personally, I think I this helps me to become a better student and writer. In providing comments back to other students, I feel the same way. I attempt to provide feedback in a straightforward manner, and not fearing that I may offend the person. The feedback provided is in an effort to provide another point of view to the author.
The comments by Dr. Rice back to me have been straight forward and constructive. He identified areas of my paper that were not working and an assessment of the direction my paper was taking, or in this case, lack of direction. I appreciated the Dr. Rice’s comments and took them all under consideration. I am not a technical writer by trade or training, so In my case I can use all the feedback I can get. Positive or negative feedback, in my case in useful in expanding and improving my writing skills. By being open to Dr. Rice’s and other student’s comments, I gain a better understanding of the field. I feel am fortunate to have the feedback from technical writing professionals and use the comments to improve my skills.
The most valuable type or strategy to comment or provide feedback is both positive and negative. I look at any comments as good as far as providing me feedback on my work. Personally, I think I this helps me to become a better student and writer. In providing comments back to other students, I feel the same way. I attempt to provide feedback in a straightforward manner, and not fearing that I may offend the person. The feedback provided is in an effort to provide another point of view to the author.
The comments by Dr. Rice back to me have been straight forward and constructive. He identified areas of my paper that were not working and an assessment of the direction my paper was taking, or in this case, lack of direction. I appreciated the Dr. Rice’s comments and took them all under consideration. I am not a technical writer by trade or training, so In my case I can use all the feedback I can get. Positive or negative feedback, in my case in useful in expanding and improving my writing skills. By being open to Dr. Rice’s and other student’s comments, I gain a better understanding of the field. I feel am fortunate to have the feedback from technical writing professionals and use the comments to improve my skills.
The Importance Of Style - Revised Edition
I had a lot of work to revise my original paper. Not sure why I was challenged by creating and acceptable paper?
STYLE AND ONLINE NEWS SITES
The Importance of Style for Online News Sites
Style is important in written communication as well as in the presentation of stories to readers of online news sites. One of the most popular ways to get news today is the Internet. As recent poll by Zogby International indicates that a: “majority of Americans view the web as the best source of information” (Webber 2009). Additionally, when asked if they had only a single source for news, what would it be? A majority of adults, 56% picked the Internet (Webber 2009). It is becoming apparent that most people choose online news sites for their news and information. According to Baron: “… newspaper circulation in the United States has been in decline for many years, and as more and more people get their information from screens instead of kiosks, newspapers have been quick to digitize in the hopes of improving readership and the advertising revenue that keeps these digital “papers” afloat” (Baron 2009). With an increase in the number and popularity of online news, we ask the question: “Do Online News Sites Utilize Style?” The answer is yes. Online news sites utilize elements, principles and general guidelines for style in presenting news to readers. This paper addresses the question by focusing on a selected number of online news sites and analyzing the style used in presenting content. For purposes of this research we are not including any traditional newspaper websites. The study of online versions of paper based news sources is the subject for future research. The news sites chosen for this paper do not have a companion print-based version for comparison. The selected websites are news oriented sites with a common thread of “Breaking News” or “Latest Headlines”. The primary focus of each site is presenting the latest general news stories as they develop. In my opinion, style does matter for any online news site. Style is important in driving the popularity of each site and in turn, the revenue potential for each organization. The difference between the researched news sites in this paper is the style that is used in their presentation of the stories.
Generally, users seeking news via web sites are still expecting the traditional, established reporting style to be utilized. While the visual presentation, fonts, colors and many other aspects that the user sees are part of the style, the basics remain the same. The news sites adhere to the basic rule of reporting a story. Most reporters are taught to ask five questions: Who? What? Where? When? And Why? The researched online news sites all have this element in common and it is part of the style for each one. Deviating from the five basic questions is not something any news sites want to do. After all, these questions have withstood the test of time. Why reinvent the wheel? Or for that matter, why reinvent generally accepted reporting questions?
Most readers prefer clear, concise writing in news stories. Stories written with these characteristics reflect two commonly discussed principles of style: clarity and understanding. According to Williams, clarity and understanding are two vital principles related to style in writing (Williams 2009). The principle of clear and concise writing takes into consideration the reader before the writer. This is another important common element of style found in online news sites.
CNN Example
An example from the CNN website shows us a presentation style that focuses on video content. While the main offering appears to be video stories, the site also has a section of text based or written content for the user.
While the CNN site does have text content, the user is first presented with large images and links to videos. From this we can assume the folks at CNN have created a style that is heavy on video content and not so heavy on text base news stories. A smaller, less prominent section has links to text news stories, some with video, most with a still picture. From the linked stories, one thing in common with most of the researched web pages, they still stick to the traditional news style of reporting. The style within each reported story on this site varies depending on the subject and context in which it is reported. For example, one story sticks to the fact and presents little else as far as style. This style is very clear and concise.
In this example we can see a demonstration of William’s description on concision. Each word is important in this example and there are no “useless adjectives and adverbs” (Williams 2009). This style is more reminiscent of the days of breaking news coming over the wire where just the facts are reported quickly and concisely. It is interesting to note in analyzing the latest online news offerings, they style used found in certain stories is the same as the style used extensively thirty or forty years ago. While the technology has changed, the use of style in writing news stories has remained the same in many cases over the years.
A different example, also from CNN, follows the basics of style, but has additional content such as quotes from the rescue workers and more background information.
The style used in reporting this story provides additional information and paints a picture for the reader. The use of additional comments and information follow the principle of thinking about the reader first, providing as much relevant information on the story as possible.
Fox News Example
Another online news site style example is from the Fox News website. The style of this website is really a hybrid of video and text based stores. In contrast to the CNN website, which focuses on the video offerings, the Fox websites combines both stories and video into a presentation that does not appear to favor or push one style over the other.
CNN and Fox are news sites with their own style in the written content. Other news sites have a hybrid style or a combination of styles from different sources. For example Google News aggregates news stories from numerous sources. Presented on a single page, each story has its own use of writing style or “something heterogeneous in origin or composition” ("Hybrid," 2010).
Yahoo Example
Yahoo News offering video and text content, and does not push one style over the other. Yahoo provides a news web page that is also a “hybrid” style. Users are presented with a headline that is a link to the complete story. This is a different style and presentation that CNN and Fox News which provide the user with a one or two line preview from the story. With this difference, the news writer must be clear and concise in creating the first sentence or two for CNN and Fox news, allowing the user to get a flavor for the story. For Yahoo News, the writer is tasked with creating a catchy or interesting headline that will drive the user to explore the additional content. The Yahoo news site is found at: http://news.yahoo.com/.
Google News Example
Google news is presented in a straight forward, less splashy style than for example CNN and Fox. The Google News site can be found at http://news.google.com/. While presenting with what appears to be less style, they make up for this with increased utility. Functionality can also be deemed a part of the style of the page. The functionality if offered with the readers interest it mind. Keeping the reader interest at the front of mind is "good manners" (Williams 2009). Google aggregates the news in a “quick and dirty” fashion and post the top stories on its news page. This style works for those users interested in the latest stories in an easy to read format from a wide variety of sources.
Drudge Report Example
Drudge Report is also a news aggregation site. The simple font and straightforward presentation on this news site is great for readers wanting news without a lot of overhead. The site consists of one main headline, surrounded by numerous other headlines in a smaller font. These headlines are really links to another web page and with the story. While some may indicate site lacks style, others argue the style is in the sheer simplicity of the site. As with Google news, the Drudge Report news site is high functional. This presentation on this website style in very unique and some would say plain, but it also exhibits a style. It is a news site that has no content. The site just has links to other sites, but the style work well and has for years. Clear and concise headlines are linked to stories from a wide variety of sources. Users can select the stories based on the brief headlines and not have to wade through an overload of interactive and visual content.
Analysis
Is the content of online news sites written with clarity and understanding in mind? I believe this is true. Each on the example news sites has a style that presents the stories with the reader in mind. Williams indicates, most professional writers know how to “write clearly” (Williams, 2009). On the other hand many are challenged by trying to “organize complex ideas coherently”. For the most part, the typical online news story is written in a clear, concise understandable style. When complex ideas or stories are introduced, organizing and presenting the information to the reader is vital to keeping the reader motivated and involved in the process. Doing this depends upon style. Motivated, involved and satisfied online news readers are return customers. In the business of delivering news content online, repeat customer are the key to increased revenue, presence and market share.
The advent of online news sites and computers in general has advanced and enhanced to tools writers have to craft their own style. One thing the online news sites must avoid in being “too smart by half.” Complicated presentation of a news story takes away from the content and utility a user gets from visiting the site. According to Baron, “Computers, as they improved over two decades, began offering design options that allowed writers to personalize and professionalize their writing. These new choices in turn led to a proliferation of overcomplicated document presentation“ (Baron 2009). These are wise words that apply to today’s online news sites.
Conclusion
Each of these news websites takes into account “style” in their presentation. By focusing on a different aspect of style, each is attempting to appeal to a different age group, gender, income group and any of a number of demographics. Why? In order to drive up hits to the web page and increase potential ad revenue, news pages are created with a certain style. The use of style to appeal to certain demographics. Style and content are important to those websites that wish to remain relevant in today’s online news competitive space.
CNN and Fox News web sites have content and style that is reflective of the individual writers contributing to each story. We may see style similarities on these types of sites based on the fact there may be one online content editor that coordinates the stories and writing in a particular style. On the other hand, sites such as Drudge Report, Yahoo News and Google News, aggregate stories from multiple sources. The presentation of stories on these news sites take on a multiple personality style, or a hybrid style. This is based on the fact each story is from a different source, with a different editor and style preferences.
Which style works better? Personally, it depends on time frames for me. If I am in a hurry and want a quick summary of what is going on news wise, I tend to visit aggregate sites for many stories from many sources. If I am not pressed for time, I prefer to go to a news site that has its own unique style. Baron provides us with a fitting concluding comment: “Having learned to trust the technology, we are now engaged in the process of learning to trust the texts it produces” (Baron, 2009).
References
Baron, Dennis. (2009). A Better pencil. United States : Oxford
University Press, USA.
Breaking News. (2010, February 18). Retrieved from
http://www.cnn.com/
Breaking News | Latest News | Current News. (2010, February 18). Retrieved from
http://www.foxnews.com/
Drudge Report 2010. (2010, February 18). Retrieved from
http://www.drudgereport.com/
Google News. (2010, February 18). Retrieved from
http://www.news.google.com/
Hybrid. (2010). Merriam-Webster online. Retrieved (2010, February
19) from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hybrid
Teleprinter. (2010, February 11). Retrieved from http:
//en.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teleprinter
Webber, L. (2009, June 18). Us: internet is most popular source of
news for majority of adults. Retrieved from http://www.editorsweblog.org/web_20/2009/06/
us_internet_is_most_popular_source_of_ne.php
Williams, J.M. (2009). Style the basics of clarity and grace. New
York: Pearson Longman.
Yahoo News. (2010, February 18). Retrieved from
http://www.news.yahoo.com/
STYLE AND ONLINE NEWS SITES
The Importance of Style for Online News Sites
Style is important in written communication as well as in the presentation of stories to readers of online news sites. One of the most popular ways to get news today is the Internet. As recent poll by Zogby International indicates that a: “majority of Americans view the web as the best source of information” (Webber 2009). Additionally, when asked if they had only a single source for news, what would it be? A majority of adults, 56% picked the Internet (Webber 2009). It is becoming apparent that most people choose online news sites for their news and information. According to Baron: “… newspaper circulation in the United States has been in decline for many years, and as more and more people get their information from screens instead of kiosks, newspapers have been quick to digitize in the hopes of improving readership and the advertising revenue that keeps these digital “papers” afloat” (Baron 2009). With an increase in the number and popularity of online news, we ask the question: “Do Online News Sites Utilize Style?” The answer is yes. Online news sites utilize elements, principles and general guidelines for style in presenting news to readers. This paper addresses the question by focusing on a selected number of online news sites and analyzing the style used in presenting content. For purposes of this research we are not including any traditional newspaper websites. The study of online versions of paper based news sources is the subject for future research. The news sites chosen for this paper do not have a companion print-based version for comparison. The selected websites are news oriented sites with a common thread of “Breaking News” or “Latest Headlines”. The primary focus of each site is presenting the latest general news stories as they develop. In my opinion, style does matter for any online news site. Style is important in driving the popularity of each site and in turn, the revenue potential for each organization. The difference between the researched news sites in this paper is the style that is used in their presentation of the stories.
Generally, users seeking news via web sites are still expecting the traditional, established reporting style to be utilized. While the visual presentation, fonts, colors and many other aspects that the user sees are part of the style, the basics remain the same. The news sites adhere to the basic rule of reporting a story. Most reporters are taught to ask five questions: Who? What? Where? When? And Why? The researched online news sites all have this element in common and it is part of the style for each one. Deviating from the five basic questions is not something any news sites want to do. After all, these questions have withstood the test of time. Why reinvent the wheel? Or for that matter, why reinvent generally accepted reporting questions?
Most readers prefer clear, concise writing in news stories. Stories written with these characteristics reflect two commonly discussed principles of style: clarity and understanding. According to Williams, clarity and understanding are two vital principles related to style in writing (Williams 2009). The principle of clear and concise writing takes into consideration the reader before the writer. This is another important common element of style found in online news sites.
CNN Example
An example from the CNN website shows us a presentation style that focuses on video content. While the main offering appears to be video stories, the site also has a section of text based or written content for the user.
While the CNN site does have text content, the user is first presented with large images and links to videos. From this we can assume the folks at CNN have created a style that is heavy on video content and not so heavy on text base news stories. A smaller, less prominent section has links to text news stories, some with video, most with a still picture. From the linked stories, one thing in common with most of the researched web pages, they still stick to the traditional news style of reporting. The style within each reported story on this site varies depending on the subject and context in which it is reported. For example, one story sticks to the fact and presents little else as far as style. This style is very clear and concise.
In this example we can see a demonstration of William’s description on concision. Each word is important in this example and there are no “useless adjectives and adverbs” (Williams 2009). This style is more reminiscent of the days of breaking news coming over the wire where just the facts are reported quickly and concisely. It is interesting to note in analyzing the latest online news offerings, they style used found in certain stories is the same as the style used extensively thirty or forty years ago. While the technology has changed, the use of style in writing news stories has remained the same in many cases over the years.
A different example, also from CNN, follows the basics of style, but has additional content such as quotes from the rescue workers and more background information.
The style used in reporting this story provides additional information and paints a picture for the reader. The use of additional comments and information follow the principle of thinking about the reader first, providing as much relevant information on the story as possible.
Fox News Example
Another online news site style example is from the Fox News website. The style of this website is really a hybrid of video and text based stores. In contrast to the CNN website, which focuses on the video offerings, the Fox websites combines both stories and video into a presentation that does not appear to favor or push one style over the other.
CNN and Fox are news sites with their own style in the written content. Other news sites have a hybrid style or a combination of styles from different sources. For example Google News aggregates news stories from numerous sources. Presented on a single page, each story has its own use of writing style or “something heterogeneous in origin or composition” ("Hybrid," 2010).
Yahoo Example
Yahoo News offering video and text content, and does not push one style over the other. Yahoo provides a news web page that is also a “hybrid” style. Users are presented with a headline that is a link to the complete story. This is a different style and presentation that CNN and Fox News which provide the user with a one or two line preview from the story. With this difference, the news writer must be clear and concise in creating the first sentence or two for CNN and Fox news, allowing the user to get a flavor for the story. For Yahoo News, the writer is tasked with creating a catchy or interesting headline that will drive the user to explore the additional content. The Yahoo news site is found at: http://news.yahoo.com/.
Google News Example
Google news is presented in a straight forward, less splashy style than for example CNN and Fox. The Google News site can be found at http://news.google.com/. While presenting with what appears to be less style, they make up for this with increased utility. Functionality can also be deemed a part of the style of the page. The functionality if offered with the readers interest it mind. Keeping the reader interest at the front of mind is "good manners" (Williams 2009). Google aggregates the news in a “quick and dirty” fashion and post the top stories on its news page. This style works for those users interested in the latest stories in an easy to read format from a wide variety of sources.
Drudge Report Example
Drudge Report is also a news aggregation site. The simple font and straightforward presentation on this news site is great for readers wanting news without a lot of overhead. The site consists of one main headline, surrounded by numerous other headlines in a smaller font. These headlines are really links to another web page and with the story. While some may indicate site lacks style, others argue the style is in the sheer simplicity of the site. As with Google news, the Drudge Report news site is high functional. This presentation on this website style in very unique and some would say plain, but it also exhibits a style. It is a news site that has no content. The site just has links to other sites, but the style work well and has for years. Clear and concise headlines are linked to stories from a wide variety of sources. Users can select the stories based on the brief headlines and not have to wade through an overload of interactive and visual content.
Analysis
Is the content of online news sites written with clarity and understanding in mind? I believe this is true. Each on the example news sites has a style that presents the stories with the reader in mind. Williams indicates, most professional writers know how to “write clearly” (Williams, 2009). On the other hand many are challenged by trying to “organize complex ideas coherently”. For the most part, the typical online news story is written in a clear, concise understandable style. When complex ideas or stories are introduced, organizing and presenting the information to the reader is vital to keeping the reader motivated and involved in the process. Doing this depends upon style. Motivated, involved and satisfied online news readers are return customers. In the business of delivering news content online, repeat customer are the key to increased revenue, presence and market share.
The advent of online news sites and computers in general has advanced and enhanced to tools writers have to craft their own style. One thing the online news sites must avoid in being “too smart by half.” Complicated presentation of a news story takes away from the content and utility a user gets from visiting the site. According to Baron, “Computers, as they improved over two decades, began offering design options that allowed writers to personalize and professionalize their writing. These new choices in turn led to a proliferation of overcomplicated document presentation“ (Baron 2009). These are wise words that apply to today’s online news sites.
Conclusion
Each of these news websites takes into account “style” in their presentation. By focusing on a different aspect of style, each is attempting to appeal to a different age group, gender, income group and any of a number of demographics. Why? In order to drive up hits to the web page and increase potential ad revenue, news pages are created with a certain style. The use of style to appeal to certain demographics. Style and content are important to those websites that wish to remain relevant in today’s online news competitive space.
CNN and Fox News web sites have content and style that is reflective of the individual writers contributing to each story. We may see style similarities on these types of sites based on the fact there may be one online content editor that coordinates the stories and writing in a particular style. On the other hand, sites such as Drudge Report, Yahoo News and Google News, aggregate stories from multiple sources. The presentation of stories on these news sites take on a multiple personality style, or a hybrid style. This is based on the fact each story is from a different source, with a different editor and style preferences.
Which style works better? Personally, it depends on time frames for me. If I am in a hurry and want a quick summary of what is going on news wise, I tend to visit aggregate sites for many stories from many sources. If I am not pressed for time, I prefer to go to a news site that has its own unique style. Baron provides us with a fitting concluding comment: “Having learned to trust the technology, we are now engaged in the process of learning to trust the texts it produces” (Baron, 2009).
References
Baron, Dennis. (2009). A Better pencil. United States : Oxford
University Press, USA.
Breaking News. (2010, February 18). Retrieved from
http://www.cnn.com/
Breaking News | Latest News | Current News. (2010, February 18). Retrieved from
http://www.foxnews.com/
Drudge Report 2010. (2010, February 18). Retrieved from
http://www.drudgereport.com/
Google News. (2010, February 18). Retrieved from
http://www.news.google.com/
Hybrid. (2010). Merriam-Webster online. Retrieved (2010, February
19) from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hybrid
Teleprinter. (2010, February 11). Retrieved from http:
//en.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teleprinter
Webber, L. (2009, June 18). Us: internet is most popular source of
news for majority of adults. Retrieved from http://www.editorsweblog.org/web_20/2009/06/
us_internet_is_most_popular_source_of_ne.php
Williams, J.M. (2009). Style the basics of clarity and grace. New
York: Pearson Longman.
Yahoo News. (2010, February 18). Retrieved from
http://www.news.yahoo.com/
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Question 2
Question 2: Provide an example of action or character in something you’ve read or something you’ve written recently, and how that might improve according to Williams.
Recent examples of something I have read that definitely can be improved according to Williams are available to me on a daily basis. I just have to look at tasks assigned to me to figure out in the software context, what was broken, what has been fixed and how the fix can be validated. I am purposefully using generic high level terms in these examples as they may have proprietary information or offend author in general. For example, here is one:
“Some Route reports have the wrong timestamp”
Not really much information in this example. What exactly are or is “some”
What is wrong with the timestamp? What is the correct time stamp? Do we even need a timestamp? For the most part, there is not much to work with in the statement. Generally, providing more action and descriptive information in reporting of technical issues is better for the reader. Simple identifying the reports in question would go a long way to improving this sentence. According to Williams, the statement is devoid of characters. The term “some” is also vague and passive in nature. What does it imply? A few? A majority? A small number? It is hard to determine from this statement.
For the most part, the initial example can be corrected by providing additional information and expanding the sentence. On the other end of the spectrum, a recent example that is more difficult to understand is:
debugBinding method in JdbcPersistentClass.java throws ArrayIndexOutOfBoundException while loading PosiImpl.java. Posmpl.xml references to MutablePositImpl object which loads a big subset of database columns. Hence the columnIndex variable loaded form PositImppl.xml in debugBinding method is lesser than fieldIndex that represents the actual fields in PositImpl.java.
Accessing tableMapping[columnIndex - 1] in debugBinding method throws ArrayIndexOutOfBoundException.
This one is along the lines of the example discussed about governmental intervention. What is the subject, the verb, the characters? It will take the reader a great deal of time just to figure out the parts. Additionally, in presenting technical information, using descriptive words like “big” may not be the best choice. All in all these two examples and at different ends of the spectrum, but both could benefit from an analysis and improvement based on William’s Style chapters on Action and Characters.
Recent examples of something I have read that definitely can be improved according to Williams are available to me on a daily basis. I just have to look at tasks assigned to me to figure out in the software context, what was broken, what has been fixed and how the fix can be validated. I am purposefully using generic high level terms in these examples as they may have proprietary information or offend author in general. For example, here is one:
“Some Route reports have the wrong timestamp”
Not really much information in this example. What exactly are or is “some”
What is wrong with the timestamp? What is the correct time stamp? Do we even need a timestamp? For the most part, there is not much to work with in the statement. Generally, providing more action and descriptive information in reporting of technical issues is better for the reader. Simple identifying the reports in question would go a long way to improving this sentence. According to Williams, the statement is devoid of characters. The term “some” is also vague and passive in nature. What does it imply? A few? A majority? A small number? It is hard to determine from this statement.
For the most part, the initial example can be corrected by providing additional information and expanding the sentence. On the other end of the spectrum, a recent example that is more difficult to understand is:
debugBinding method in JdbcPersistentClass.java throws ArrayIndexOutOfBoundException while loading PosiImpl.java. Posmpl.xml references to MutablePositImpl object which loads a big subset of database columns. Hence the columnIndex variable loaded form PositImppl.xml in debugBinding method is lesser than fieldIndex that represents the actual fields in PositImpl.java.
Accessing tableMapping[columnIndex - 1] in debugBinding method throws ArrayIndexOutOfBoundException.
This one is along the lines of the example discussed about governmental intervention. What is the subject, the verb, the characters? It will take the reader a great deal of time just to figure out the parts. Additionally, in presenting technical information, using descriptive words like “big” may not be the best choice. All in all these two examples and at different ends of the spectrum, but both could benefit from an analysis and improvement based on William’s Style chapters on Action and Characters.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
